Relying on Jesus Christ to Strengthen our Marriages – Part 2

As promised, I want to conclude our discussion of creating more harmony and unity in our homes.  If you are just tuning in, I recommend that you read my last post.  To conclude this topic, I will discuss here how we must have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and rely upon the Atonement to harvest greater marital unity.  I will first discuss the purpose of the Atonement and then touch on four points of how the Atonement can strengthen the unity in our marriages. (This same discussion will also be applicable to finding strength in a variety of struggles in our life.)

The Atonement

The Atonement of Jesus Christ comprises three major events that concluded His life on this Earth.  It began with His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, where He took upon Him our sins, weaknesses, and physical ailments and sweat great drops 

of blood (Luke 22:39-44).  The Atonement continued with Jesus’ crucifixion (Luke22:33-49) and finally concluded three long days later with the beautiful morning of the resurrection, where Christ’s spirit had taken up His body never to be separated again (Luke 24).  Through this Atonement everyone that has ever lived on this Earth will also be resurrected and all those who accept Jesus as their Savior and who demonstrates Faith in him through obeying His word will find eternal life, a life in paradise with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Point One: Finding Strength through Grace

In our previous discussion I quoted Jesus’ intercessory prayer found in the Gospel of John.  I would like to draw your attention to what is taught in verse 22, Jesus prayed, “ And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one” (John 17:22).

What is this “glory” that was given to Christ by the Father and Christ is in turn giving to us so that we may be one, or in other words, unified?  I believe it is Grace offered to mankind through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

The word ‘grace’ as used in the New Testament is to mean a “divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.”  This divine help or strength can be accessed “through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of [our] sins,” by this we can “receive strength and assistance to do good works that [we] otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to [our] own means” (Bible Dictionary).

Through cultivating faith in the risen Lord Jesus Christ, obeying His word, studying the scriptures, and supplicating our Heavenly Father through prayer, we will qualify for the Grace of Jesus Christ.  Through this Grace, we will be given divine assistance to change our bad habits or tendencies to be selfish, frustrated, angered, prideful, thoughtless, and contentious, all of which weaken our marriage.  We will be given power from on high to become more Christ like, which will create greater unity in our home.

Point Two: An Example of Selfless Sacrifice

                The Atonement is the perfect example of the selfless sacrifice required for a successful and happy marriage.  Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to this Earth and led a perfect life, without sin.  Despite the perfection Jesus obtained in this life, Jesus paid the penalties for the sins of all mankind.  Think about that!  The only man ever to cross the face of this Earth without sin suffered the penalties of all who has ever sinned so they can return and live with God as if they had lived the perfect life!

                If we could approach our marriages with the same level of selfless service that Christ approached each one of us with, think of how much happier we would be and how much more unified we would be with our spouse.  We would no longer be burdened with our own personal trouble; we would only care about serving and making our spouse happy.  Think of the harmony that would prevail in the home and the new excitement as you look for creative ways to surprise your spouse.  Think of the look on your spouse’s face as they are surprised time and time again by acts to sercice or expressions of love rendered by you. By doing this we would become more like our Savior, our spouses will be encouraged to do the same by our example, each spouse will draw closer to Christ, and there will be more unity in our homes.

Point Three: Seeking Forgiveness

                In our lives we all make mistakes and we all sin; when we sin we offend those around us and we offend God.  This offence distances us from God and from our loved ones and fosters a spirit of disunity and eliminating any spirit of peace.

                Nephi, a righteous prophet in the ancient Americas, lamented over his past mistakes and said “And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?  Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul” (2 Ne. 4:27-28).

                Sin weighs us down; only through faith in The Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance can this weight be lifted.  Repentance is a process of removing the estrangement between yourself and God and forsaking your sins.  Relying on the Atonement in this way is to reestablish unity; if you break the word Atonement into its English components you get the phrase “At One Ment.”  The Atonement is the ultimate unifier in life, it makes it possible to be “At one” with God and your loved ones; it restores peace and unity in your home if you repent and seek forgiveness.

 

Point Four: Forgiving

Lastly, in our marriages we will not only have the opportunity to seek forgiveness for our mistakes, but we will also have the opportunity to forgive one another.  There is little that is more damaging to a mirage than one spouse refusing to forgive the other of a mistake or even saying they forgive the other when they really haven’t.  Not forgiving one another in marriage takes a wound in the relationship and rips it open further.  Ultimately the destiny of a couple who does not forgive each other is divorce because we all make mistakes and not forgiving fosters resentment which leads to hate and mistrust.

                Forgiving and being forgiven restores unity in the home, invites the Spirit of peace into your life, and is a part of the rocky road of drawing closer to Jesus Christ.  Finding forgiveness of our sins is inseparable from forgiving others.  Jesus taught “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mat. 6:14-15).

                I know that Christ is our Lord and our Savior. Only through His Atonement can we return to our Father in Heaven and only through His Atonement can we find peace and unity in our lives and relationships.

Creating harmony in your home and with your spouse in a crazy world.

A unified country… Is it possible? …is it even possible to have a unified home?!  

        My wife and I are consciously striving for the latter, a unified home and it is difficult.  Am I insinuating that we are at odds ends and don’t love each other anymore, no, not at all!  I love Tara more now than I ever knew I could love anyone.  But what we are trying to work on is becoming more unified in purpose and having a greater peace in our home.  Specifically we are to eliminate precisely what the Lord said of a Christian people who initially failed in creating a spirit of unity amongst them; He said, “Behold, I say unto you, there were jarrings, and contentions, and envyings, and strifes, and lustful and covetous desires among them; therefore by these things they polluted their inheritances (blessings)” (Doctrine and Covenants 101:6).

        When Paul learned of the contentions of the members of the church in Corinth, he declared “Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (1 Cor. 1:10).

        Jesus Christ and His Father exemplify the type of unity we should strive for in our marital relationships as well as all other associations we may have.  In the sacred prayer uttered by the lips of Jesus towards the end of His ministry, He prayed not only for us to become unified with each other, but that we might become unified with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

        21 That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

        22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:

        23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. (John 17:21-23)

          We learn from these verses that by exemplifying the unity that exists between Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ in our marriages and becoming unified in purpose with the Father and Jesus others will come to believe in Christ through our examples.

          The perfect example of the unity I am discussing here occurred in the form of another prayer uttered by our Savior before he took upon himself the unimaginable pain associated with taking the sins of all the world upon him in the darkness of the Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus prayed, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42).   As we become more unified with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, our prayers will become similar to this one; we will set our own will aside and accept God’s will as our own.

          Excuse the amateur artwork; I don’t include it for its quality, but to teach a principle.  When we enter into a marriage relationship, we each have our own likes and dislikes, opinions, desires, wants, and beliefs of how things should work around the house.  These differences are O.K. (that is usually why you married each other), but are often allowed to be a source of contention when pride and stubbornness is involved.  These differences are symbolized in the picture by the distance between the Husband and wife while at the base of the triangle.  When we get married, we not only commit ourselves to our spouses to serve, love, and strengthen them throughout all of life’s trials, but there is also an implicit commitment to strive to become the best that we can be.  We accomplish this by individually striving to become more like our Savior and drawing nearer to Him.  Notice that when each spouse depicted climbs towards the Savior at the apex of the triangle, the distance between the couple decreases symbolizing a greater spirit of unity between them as their differences melt away and they become more one in purpose.

          I know that through striving to become more like our Savior we can become more unified with our spouses.  I have witnessed this in my own marriage; we are far from the top, but we are closer together than when we started.  I often feel my wonderful wife is much higher than myself and that just pushes me harder.  I love my wife Tara, and am grateful for the wonderful woman that she is.

          I want to discuss further how to rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His infinite grace to progress towards a more unified home. I invite you to check back in the coming week to follow up with this discussion of unity.  For now, I will end with a sentiment that Paul concluded his second letter to the Corinthians with:

         11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect (strive to be like your Savior), be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. (2 Cor. 13:11)